Sunday, July 5, 2015

Starting from Scratch



I know this is pretty much par for the course anymore, but it's "been awhile."

There's good reason for that though, instead of typing terrible words on this blog, I've been typing terrible words into a word document for a would-be book of sorts. Good news though! I just decided to scrap the whole 120,000 odd words to come back to a medium that I'm more worthy of. That's right, the confines of this underwhelming (but oddly popular for the quality of content) site.

I second guess every sentence I write. I hate every paragraph and every page of text that I squeeze out of these gangling fingers. Who am I to think my thoughts or experiences warrant a proper published book? What a farce.

In any case, now that I'm done bashing myself... let's talk a little bit about the state of said blogspace. I'm going to try to write a lot more and a lot more often. While the content will shuffle to more of a journal-type format instead of these past philosophically half-baked ideas. I'm sure those will show up in some fashion, but I need to find my footing again when it comes to writing and being vulnerable before I attempt to dive into the deep end of a pool that's much colder and deeper. Back to the kiddie pool of melancholy thoughts for the time being.

With this change comes another though. I'll be writing about the entire aspects of my life, not just the depressing stuff. While clinical depression and other brain type ailments to plague me on a day-to-day or minute-to-minute time frame, I'm growing rather irksome of labeling myself solely for my expertise on the despondent and woeful.

There is much more to this entity I call myself than just being a wet-fucking-blanket all the time.

It was difficult to destroy hundreds of hours of work and writing, but certain times in life call for a fresh start. This, ladies and gentlemen, is one of those times.

After all, the Buddha says something about letting go and being happy or other such something.

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