Dogged Determination

I mean, I never liked being told what to do. It's one of the reasons I dropped out of school. Give me something to assemble, I won't look at the directions, I'll try to figure it out by myself. It's why I love Ikea furniture.
-Dave Grohl

 It's hard for me to have motivation to write. As I've said before it's a lot easier to channel hurt and pain into words than when you're content and enjoying most days. That's what the last week has been. I wouldn't say it was easy, but it was enjoyable. Tackling obstacles and constantly improving step by step, day by day. I'm mainly clicking on my keyboard right now as an alternative to throwing on one of my new suits (which are fucking awesome) and getting a bouquet of roses or something ridiculous like that.

The fight with mental illness has really given me a unique set of tools to use in my other relationships and tribulations of day to day life. Forged by the fire... so to speak. 

As I continue to gain strength -- I gain clarity. Every day I know what's worth spending the effort working towards. I'm learning how to use every minute towards a worthwhile goal. I'm becoming efficient and confident; decisive. There is less and less wishing and wanting and more pursuing and catching. The predicament that I find myself in is that I'm still madly, wildly, fiercely, intensely in love with that same girl; this hauntingly beautiful angel.

One thing I've really started to like about myself is that I have strength to fight for what I feel is right. I'm not just some schmuck that blabs righteous words and spews kind-hearted yarns; I practice what I preach. Yeah yeah, sounds like I have a big ego, but realize that when a month ago I looked into the mirror and loathed the person looking back. To like anything about myself after those dark days is a miracle.

Full steam ahead to the point.

I'm continuing to fight for what I believe is my once-in-a-lifetime love for a woman. Each and every minute that I become more okay with who Brett is and will be; the more this mental image of her next to me is what I desire for my life. I haven't outgrown her or grown apart despite anything that has happened. 

I'm kind of annoying actually. I'm not deterred or routed; I keep bouncing up. I remind myself of Little Mac. (Geek Reference +1) 

I'll keep mashing my controller and keep getting back up. Over and over. Over and over.

Over and over.

Give up already.

Nope. 

This kind of motivation is the stuff they used to write sonnets about. My goal is for people to start using 'Hamre' as part of an idiom for 'dogged determination.'...and that folks is what we call a title tie-in. Smooth.