Happenstance?

"Some things are destined to be -- it just takes us a couple of tries to get there."
                                                                       - J.R. Ward

 Fate? Coincidence? Circumstance?

These are things I think a lot about, especially lately. Signs only contain as much credence as we place into them. Is it only a sign if I'm in the mental state to assume it is? God's finger pointing the way... even if I don't believe? Do things only click when we're self-aware enough or is it only when we need them to subconsciously? Does this include or exclude the study of astrology and the zodiac? There are many, many questions.

Some would argue that it doesn't matter. The message is delivered. Either by some divine intervention or your own mushy brain bits working strangely- the envelope is in the box. Does the urgency of the message change depending on who wrote it? Surely you would pay more heed to a message by a king than a farmhand; an officer over a drunk. Even if it's the same message? My imagination fabricating what I want to see or classify as the stars aligning and pointing me towards my destiny or just the inner workings of a lobotomy waiting to happen?

Mumbo jumbo.

The more I type and erase thoughts. The more I click clack on the keyboard and subsequently slap my delete key.. the more I realize that it ultimately doesn't matter. We gather strength where we need to. It doesn't matter if it's otherworldly or self-fabricated; it's still strength.* There are a lot of questions and not many answers today; now. 

The constant lesson I learn as I continue to wage this war on all fronts is that people (myself included) need time. Nothing happens overnight. I've always been a quick study and it's a character quirk that I want to be a master at everything instantly. It's why I've been prone to give up drawing/art too quickly or never dig too deeply at learning an instrument. I force the issue even when every rational voice outside my own tells me that 'You need time Brett.'

Fine.

I get it.

You're right.

It doesn't make me happy, but you're right. 

I honestly believe that I know the big picture ending already, but I still have to watch the parts where the protagonist faces his trials and tribulations. Pass the script to the next cast member because I can't act for all the roles.

People need time to learn, yourself included mister. Stupid human brains. 

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*Oh, and if you were wondering. I'm still a "pathetic" romantic. I'm okay with this. I like this about myself. You don't know me until you hear me on one of my rants.